that gifset you just reblogged reminded me of this bell hooks quote: "The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem."
As a sex worker who deals with, ‘mental mindfucks’ yeah, there are men who are married for decades and they want a humiliating scenario and next thing I know they are crying saying shit like ‘I just wanna wear earrings…’ just breaking down, their gender in question, their whole life in question, that pressure of a life lost because they wanted to change and fit into what they felt they should be doing, rather than just accepting who they are and what they like… or they are in the fetal position on the floor weeping over a childhood trauma… and they don’t talk about it, with anyone, wife, guy friends, no one wants to hear it, so they have to sexualize it in order to be okay with it because men are allowed to be sexual monsters, but they aren’t allowed to emotional adults and deal with this in a healthy way.
It’s fucked up dude